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From the heart. If I could get there, I would write from there. But I'm not quite sure how to get there right now. A crazy crazy holiday, full of travel and visits. And while normally I would be all over it, being in my 3rd trimester has made it a bit hectic. So I'm just trying to go with that.

Had a great visit with my dearest friend, Cristian. So glad he could make it for a few days, and so grateful to his friends Karen and Leo to have come in from Miami and played with him on Monday so I could get some much needed rest and prenatal massage! Cristian gave Stella Grace her first pair of shoes, a pair of pants (Sean said they look like yoga pants and I of course got very excited at the thought of me and Stella G at mommy/baby yoga class!), and a darling little onsie to match. So grateful for his generosity and can't wait until she's here to put all the above mentioned items on her sweet little body.

Went back to yoga yesterday to find a substitute, was a bit perturbed at that, but got through it and considered it one step towards getting back to my routine...which I miss. I can't believe I'm saying that. But with all the holiday craziness has come poor eating habits, no exercise, crazy sleep patterns, a feisty sinus issue, and all out lethargy. Not cool for me. Just adds fuel to the stinking thinking which I try so desperately to avoid. Today truly feels like my first day "off" from work. No visits, no traveling...just a visit to my midwife and chiropractor, some house cleaning, paint selecting, and meal cooking. Exactly what I need? Perhaps. Just very happy to not have to do more than I care to today! It's so nice to be quiet for today, alone with my babe in my womb, ability to breath, go slowly without rush, stop when I need, etc, etc, etc....

6:20 AM

Can't sleep. Surprise surprise. Stella Grace moving all kindsa weird ways. Tonight she was keeping a beat. Kinda scared me. Felt like a very strong heart beat. I know I cannot feel her heart beat. Sean snoring, bless his heart. And I can't get back to my zzzzz's, bless my heart.

Cristian in town for a few days. Gave Stella the cutest little silver shoes from Baby Gap! (Pictures up soon). Had maternity photos taken by Leah yesterday. Man am I big. I don't just mean in the tummy. I mean AROUND the tummy and in the area directly above... It's no wonder they call that apron to breast-feed in public "Udder Covers", because that's exactly the word that comes to mind when I see those pictures of myself right now! Whew.

I'm 30 weeks, I think. Officially into my third trimester, and just as everyone warned, I am now also officially uncomfortable all of the time. Sleeping has become next to impossible after about 4 hours. My left side sleep position causes my upper left back to ache, as well as my shoulder to go out of socket. My right side sleep position is the most comfortable, but after about an hour, my right shoulder gets a sharp pain that wakes me up. On my back is now out of the question unless I'm semi-propt up and legs positioned like a frogs. Kinda hard to do with big daddy Dickson next me. Bless is heart.

But I love Stella Grace so much. She's already so much fun. I just hope the attempts to sleep on my back in order to be comfortable haven't hurt her, cut off her oxygen supply, damaged her in anyway. I'm looking forward to yoga again and really missing the release it gives me from being stiff and tight. I'm eager for the calm and relaxation it provides, as well as the more decent night's sleep I was getting. I think Stella likes it, too, as she seems calmer and moves around a little less.

The worries about her progress come and go. Lately it's been all about my eating habits. I read the other day in a prenatal yoga book that we "should" (and I put that in quotations to remind me that "should's" are someone else's agendas) eat the way we'll want our children to eat, as they will act when they are born as we do now, and that goes for eating, thinking, our emotional state, etc... Hell, if that's the case, poor little Stella will be a bit unbalanced... She's gonna binge, cry, isolate, have temper tantrums, want to shop excessively, and curse. She'll also be full of gratitude, have compassion, feel joy, be curious, and want to take good care of herself. I guess that's balanced, right?

Sigh...I wish I could just sleep...

Sipin' on some decaf.......

Here I am again, up at the butt crack of dawn. The night before last I slept the ENTIRE night, if you can believe that. I blame it on the amazing prenatal yoga class at Yoga Yoga and the oh-so-delicious tofu vermicelli with lemongrass and steamed broccoli from Pho Thai Son. Last night, however, no yoga took place, and I over did it at The Root Cellar in lovely downtown San Marcos, stuffing my face with their Cellar Carbonara and Snickerdoodle Bread Pudding. (so worth it!). Anyhow, here I am, sippin' on some decaf, fulfilling my commitment to blog when I wake up and can't go back to sleep. Kinda wish I had save my leftovers and not given them to Sean...

It was so wonderful to see my Rowdy Girls from SMHS last night. I miss them so much. The support and camaraderie I received from those ladies by far surpasses what support, if any, I get at Crockett. If I knew I could live in San Marcos and not be bored, I'd probably move there in a hear beat. They do have a Target now and there's even a new one in Kyle! But I wouldn't have my AP connections, my midwives, or my home group, not to mention my sister. Yet it is only 30 mins. away from A-town...sigh...if only we'd bought that house. There's a reason for all this, I must keep reminding myself.

When I returned last night it was COOOOOLD. Samito wanted out like the crazy kitty he is, so of course, I proceeded to open the front door for him. When I did that, I noticed a package on the doorstep. I brought it in thinking, "what the hell did I buy? Or did Sean buy me something and I'm not supposed to know? (fat chance)". Of course I opened it! Low and behold, there was a Canon RebelXS EOS camera from my papi!!! I had told him I wanted a nice digital 35mm camera to begin taking pictures and to later capture Stella Grace, but I had no idea he'd get it for me this soon or at all, for that matter. But he did! And I am thrilled. And I have a lot to learn. And I will need help. And a macro lense. But it's all good, for I am so ready to start shooting and practicing! I can't wait to post pictures on my blog now! If I could just learn to pimp it...

So I'm now going to use this early morning time to begin learning how to shoot great pictures by going to this site that helped me choose the camera to begin with: The Pioneer Woman. She has amazing recipes, but what's more, she has a fabulous, easy-to-read section on photography that just makes plane sense. Here I go....!