My Day

1. Get up at 7, drink chocolate soy milk. (Is this bad? It's got caffeine...)

2. Get dressed, eat Honey Nut Cheerios.

3. Brush teeth and get lunch together. Lots of it.

4. Go to work and cry all the way there...

5. Stress out at work over all the crap I have to do. Somewhere in there I eat...everything I brought for the day. Oh, and I teach.

6. Go home, cook dinner. Eat.

7. Take nice hot bubble bath by candle-light. (favorite part of day. Bought a pretty fancy bath pillow, too!)

8. Put on pjs, and crash in front of TV watching mindless entertainment such as NY City Prep or Throwdown with Bobby Flay (loves me some Bobby Flay).

9. Take nausea pill and sleep sleep sleep...

10. Amidst all these steps I burb - a lot. Three times every time. Never fails. Third time's a charm.

Needles make me queasy...

Tomorrow I'm 11 weeks pregnant. One more and I'm outta this first trimester thing. Along with that SHOULD go the queasies but for some reason, I'm very skeptical of that. I'm debating over this amnio-thing; to have it or not to have it done. While I'd really like to know if my baby is healthy, I have a hard time getting my head around the fact that a very long needle has to go into my belly, while dodging the fetus in order to soak up some fluid. Sounds graphic, I know, but that's all I think about when I think about the process. Not to mention the aftermath - the slight bleeding, the cramping. And with this nausea I'm still experiencing, it just does not sound pleasant.

New jeans...

Today I see another OBGYN, but this one I think I'm really going to like. She has 3 midwives in her practice and they say each visit at her office will take an hour and a half as they like to spend time talking to you about your birth plan, your feelings, what's going on with the baby, changes in your body, etc. What a difference from the measly 10 minutes the last OBGYN spent with me, only to tell me, "get some lab work and come back in four weeks". What about my feelings? What about my weight gain? What about my birthing plan??? I felt like I was already visiting a doctor on Socialized Medicine...yeah, it felt like I was back in Spain! Not that there's anyting wrong with free health care, oh no, but if I'm gonna pay for my health care, I wan't top notch docs. Period.

I bought two really great books yesterday by Dr. Sears. The Baby Book and The Pregnancy Book. Both are very informative and quite gentle and validating. Easy to read and practical, too. They've made me think about a few things, like how bonding starts at the moment I'm pregnant. I haven't cared to bond too much with Stellita or no-name Dickson lately (we have NO boy's name picked out...) due to the fact that I'm not really liking how I'm feeling lately. But I realized this morning that I need to try, despite how I'm feeling. It's not their fault I feel like this - it's just mother nature doing her thing to make sure they're healthy and safe in my tummy. Making a placenta is hard and taxing work. Damn.

I'd been afraid to try the chocolate soy milk in my fridge for a while now but now that I have, I think I've found a new breakfast drink. I know it's got some caffeine but guess what - I don't care. :)

Oh, and I'm eating crispy tacos from Chipotle again today for lunch. And I think I'm going to buy myself a new pair of jeans, ones that fit WITHOUT elastic that will last me the next month or two. Life is looking better.

My treat

My husband was so sweet yesterday. Not only did he make me dinner, but he cleaned the kitchen afterward AND went with me to Walmart to buy ice-cream even thought I knew he didn't feel like getting out of the house. Now that's what I'm talking about.

So tonight I treated him to a burrito bowl at Chipotle, just to show my love and appreciation. I know, not a big thing, but it's the little things like that that he loves.

And I got a full and satisfied tummy out of the whole thing. :)

Lazy Bum

I don't want to work anymore.

I just want to lay around, be pregnant and watch back to back episodes of NYC Prep.

And eat Moo-llinneum Crunch ice-cream. :)

Untitiled

Can't think of any catchy, quirky title today and Untitled is kinda how I'm feeling anyway, so how appropriate.

I think I'm getting my acrylic nails taken off today and opting for a simple manicure instead. The nails keep hitting the wrong keys and making me type backwards. Think I'll follow that up with a pedicure.

Oh, so NAUSEOUS today...yuk. TIRED OF FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!

Going into the school today to work on my roomS. Stinks that I have to change again, but such is life. I just keep thinking of March 15th. Little Stella Grace better make it through...I'm counting on her as my way out of teaching! Come on little Stella! You can do it!

Nauseous..

Even since week 5 1/2, I have had nausea all during the day. It will not go away. I've tried eating something in bed before I get out, only to find that makes it a little worse. Crackers don't do it for me anymore, and the "cravings" I had at week 6/7 have gone away and now the only thing I crave is to not be nauseous. Period. I hate women who've never experienced this during pregnancy and I love and pity those who have during the entire pregnancy. I salute those ladies, oh yes I do. They (all the experienced mommies out there) tell me it will pass but I just can't imagine this ever going away right now. I feel like this is how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life because I've felt like this for three-plus weeks now!

What has tasted good:
Ice Cream, especially pecans, pralines and cream.
Rotisserie chicken with plain white rice.
Pasta salad.
Keebler Club Crackers with pepper jack cheese.
Doritos. Yes, Doritos. I haven't eaten those in years.

I just want all this to pass so I can get excited about having a baby. I don't even want to read any baby books or plan a baby's room or pick out a name, because right now, being pregnant sucks. I just want to be spoon fed and bathed, like a baby myself, really. Is that too much to ask?

No More Baby Story...

Okay, I watched my first ever episode of "A Baby Story" on TLC and cried the ENTIRE time. ALL the way through. Cried my eyes out. You would've thought I was watching Steele Magnolias or something like Fried Green Tomatoes. It was awful. I'm so scared now. Do women really survive childbirth? How do we do it??? My mother told me not to watch that show. She said it would just scare me. And it did. I am officially afraid to give birth now.

On my agenda for today is to call a midwife and an OBGYN who works with midwives up north. Not a good location for me, but hey, at least they're advocates for choosing your birthing plan and are said to spend lots and lots of time with you. Maybe either of them can ease my fear of all this, as my first doctor spent a whole 10 minutes with me and answered none of my questions, nor did she put me at ease in anyway.

I'm making black beans and rice with cornbread. The only dish that sounds scrumptious and is easy on the tummy. I'm off to eat it right now.

Balloon...

Why is it that no matter how little I eat I still feel like a damn balloon after? I'm only two months pregnant people, come on!

This little baby better be damn cute, too, because all this queasiness is making me not want to be pregnant any more, let me tell you.

I looked at a birthing book today with pictures. I'm officially scared. How can a creature travel through an opening so small? I've only seen that happen in animal pictures...very strange to think I'm like an animal...

Very tired today. But so glad my Sean-Sean's home.

It's Time

I guess I'll start bloggin' again since I'm preggers. I really don't know why I don't do this regularly. I guess I feel I always run out of things to say. (Ha!) I talk to myself all the time, why would I possibly think that?

I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow and I'm already showing slightly, gained more weight than I should by now, am queasy ALL the time, and want to eat, eat, eat. I was exercising for a while, then stopped due to the heat and the queasiness, and I am so hoping after 12 weeks I'll have more energy and less queasiness to want to get out and walk again.

My credit card will be paid off at the end of August. Take that, Capitol One. Hello, Mazda 5.

I can't decide on a boy's name. I hope like hell it's a girl. All I know is that I don't want to work after the baby's born. That has nothing to do with names. I'm so bad at this!