Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, Miss Stella Grace Dickson

Here's how it went (note: this is an email I sent to my yoga instructor):

"Hello, Lisa. Just wanted to fill you in on the birth of my daughter...

Stella Grace Dickson was born on Monday, March 22, at 3:48 in the morning, after a grueling 28 hours or so of labor. She weighed 7 lbs, 13 oz, and measured 19" long. She's absolutely beautiful!

I wish I was writing you with an amazing story of how I birthed at home and everything went fabulous, that all the preparations we made for a home birth paid off, that the experience was beautiful, magical and perfect. Unfortunately or not, depending on how one looks at it, I am now one of the examples of how no matter what type of birth you plan for, sometimes things work out differently. However, while the birth experience was rough for me in many ways, the outcome has still been a blessing far greater that what I could have ever hoped for.

I went into labor on Sat. evening around 11. My midwife, told me to get some rest and call her when the contractions were 5 mins. apart. They were strong enough during the night to keep me up, so needless to say, I got NO rest, and by the time I was in active labor, I had been awake 24 hours and I was already exhausted. By Sunday evening, I was completely worn out, because my contractions went from 3 minutes apart to 10 minutes apart - I had regressed, even after hanging out in the birth pool and walking around the block several times in an effort to try to speed things up. In addition, Stella Grace had turned and was facing UP rather than down, which didn't help matters. No matter how much we tried to turn her, she just wouldn't budge. So, by midnight I chose to take the step I had tried so hard to not let happen - I went to the ER.

At St. David's (where I was born, by the way), they gave me an epidural (RELIEF!), and then started the Pitocin. After one hour, I had not dialated at all, and the nurse didn't like what the Pit was doing to Stella's heart beat. They took me off the Pit to see if it would help, but because I hadn't dilated any, chances are it was time for a C-Section (My worst nightmare). Within 2 minutes, they were back in the room, prepping me to be rushed off to the C-Section room. By this time, I was so exhausted, disappointed, and scared, I didn't even care if I saw my daughter ever or not...not a good place to be mentally. However, once they got her out and I heard her cries, my mind and emotional state turned for the better and I lost it in a flood of tears of relief that she was alive. She was so healthy, fat cheeks, great wail, and simply beautiful. She was also, as predicted by my midwife and confirmed by the surgery, face up. Having the C-Section pretty much saved her little life.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And while my worst nightmare throughout my pregnancy of having a C-Section came true, I knew I had truly birthed in awareness and in the end made the right decision. I will even say that the care I have been given at St. David's has been amazing. While I don't fully agree with everything I'm told at the hospital, I have learned quite a bit about who I want to be as a mom and what my core values are. Besides, the outcome, my beautiful, healthy daughter, is a blessing far greater than what I could have ever planned for. One never knows what the universe has in store, and I just feel so overjoyed with it all, despite what I had to go through. I am also so grateful for the fact that the medical attention I received was available to me at all, and that I chose only used it in a case of emergency.

I miss all the ladies in yoga! I hope to "reunite" with at least some of them in prenatal yoga in a couple of months or so. I hope to see you there, too, as I'm so happy I took your classes. I feel like I've made some great friends and connections there that I'd like to continue to foster. Taking the classes helped me get through the whole process because I was able to stay focused and aware. Thanks to you for that, Lisa.

Tell them all I said hello and for the first time moms, no matter what the outcome of their births, no matter what they have to do to get there, it's all worth it as long as they can stay aware, because babies rock!!

Hope to stay in touch and to see you soon. Would love to meet that Miss Josephine of yours one day...

Cristina Coro-Dickson
Lola Riera Jewelry
www.lolariera.com
http://lolariera.supermarkethq.com
www.lolariera.etsy.com

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Pictures to come as soon as I get home from the hospital!

Hello, I think I might be in labor.

OK. I've been having Braxon Hicks all day long. First of all, before I continue, let me just say today is March 20th, the last day of Pisces, the first day of spring, and my personal due date for Stella Grace. I desperately wanted her to be a Pisces, and I didn't realize until my little meltdown this morning that I had whole heartedly banked on that. I know star signs sounds silly to some folks. But I have so many wonderful girlfriends in my life who are Pisces that I was really hoping Stella Grace would end up one, too. They're just such cool ladies: Lisa, Emily, Altamira, Erin, Sara, and I might be forgetting a few more, there are so many in my life. So when I didn't go into labor yesterday or today, I knew it was "over". Stella will be an Aries. And that is that. I will love her for who she is, but I had to have my meltdown in order to get to this place of acceptance.

Right at this very moment, she is kicking like a mad woman. I mean, moving and rolling like crazy! As far as the labor stuff goes, I have had about three contractions today that have felt un-ordinary, not like your average Braxton Hicks. But I'm so disillusioned today that I am not taking them seriously at all. Instead, I have made a few little velcro pouches to carry stuff in for her, like pacifiers, wipes, extra diapers: all from the Lotta Jansdotter book, "Sewing For Baby". I've made just about everything in there but am waiting on the dresses and pants until Stella is a little bigger. Or born, for that matter. After that, I watched about 4 episodes of Dexter, then got to work on her nursery. Finally took the bed down, brought in the glider and dresser, put the changing pad on it, hung up the paper lanterns, and I think it's looking pretty cute. Can't wait to get pictures up.

Should I be timing these contractions? Whoa, here goes another one...feels like a menstrual cramp and it's shooting around to the back, but it didn't last long at all. No biggie.

Back to her star sign: one thing that consoled me today was when I realized that if I were to have scheduled a C-Section (which actually crossed my mind, I was so upset), that that would be controlling her little soul. Not allowing her to come into this world on her own time would be like stepping in the way of God's plan for her. Who am I to decide that? The Tibetans believe that a child comes into the world when the star under which they are to be born is shining bright. If I induce labor or deliberately have a C-Section, I would be messin' with the universe. I don't want to do that. And Stella would be a lie. She wouldn't have really been a Pisces, no matter what.
At least that's how I see it. This made me feel better, to remember that there is a plan, a bigger plan that I could ever imagine or hope for her to have.

So, here I am, 40 weeks and 4 days, and counting...soon to be counting contractions, I hope!

39 weeks and three days

Out of coffee this morning so I made an early trip to Starbucks for an Americano, overloaded with cream and luke warm. The good news? I didn't have to turn left to head to work, but RIGHT instead to head back home!! Ah, I LOVE being off work!! Popped my coffee in the micro and voila - instant gratification.

It's going to be another beautiful day here in A-town, and I wish I could work in the yard, but alas, I have a beautiful baby in my belly who won't allow me to bend over. Dad arrives tomorrow and has asked many times if there will be yard work to do. Guess who's gonna be pulling weeds next week, providing Stella Grace hasn't arrived?

Speaking of Stella Grace's arrival, the kiddie pool came in yesterday. We're all set. If she decides to arrive today or tomorrow, we've got all the supplies we need. Our birthing kit and bags of birthing supplies are on the dresser by the bed ready to go. Got the grass fed beef bone broth made, plenty of supplies for chocolate and peanut butter brownies for the midwives, and now the kiddie pool - bring it on.

It's so strange just being off waiting for a baby now, not knowing exactly when she'll arrive. Talk about surrendering. That's all I can do. So, to keep me busy, I sew, watch Dexter, eat, surf the net, and breathe. Breathing is good. I'm not feeling impatient - just curious. It's foreign to me this not knowing when. I usually have everything planned and timed. But not this thing, no, I am forced to experience what it is truly like to not know. I kinda like it. People say some moms-to-be go stir crazy leaving work early to wait for baby. Not me. I freakin' love it. But I am a homebody after all. I always find something to do. I wonder if Stella Grace will be one to entertain herself like I was/am or will she be more like her father, needing to get out, not interested in the home much? We'll one day find out...

Today's agenda: fix glider, pick up cushion for glider, make soft fabric toy, watch Dexter, make egg salad for lunch, maybe a run to IKEA for a new frame that broke yesterday.

It's almost time...

I don't think I've blogged since I was 6 or 7 months pregnant. The reasons are the same, feel like I've nothing to say, blah blah blah.... But here I am at 39 weeks, off work, the weather is finally fabulous, and I'm feeling a bit more relaxed and able to focus more on just being in my home with my baby in my womb, which makes it easier to write, I guess.

Apart from Stella Grace on my mind, I've got a bone to pick with those that are already parents. Why do people insist on giving a pregnant lady the ole "You think you don't have any time NOW? Just you wait!" line? As I share on my social networking site about how I'm off work and finally able to rest, so many folks are responding with this attitude and it sucks. It doesn't help. It makes me stressed. It brings me down. Why did these people have kids at all then, I ask? Where's the beauty in it and what made them decide this was a good thing to tell future parents? I know it's not going to be easy in the beginning. I know I'm going to be up at all hours of the night, getting less sleep, learning to decipher my baby's cries. I know all this. I hear it all the time. But, as my husband said to someone who responded "Game Over": Bring on the games! He and I waited until we were in our very late 30's to do this thing for a reason: we've already done what we've needed to do to get to where we are today. I love that attitude. We're ready to bring a little one into the world, ready to show her the beauty the mountains and sea have to offer, that people can be kind and compassionate, that life can be fun and fulfilling. He and I are both pretty selfish folks - we always have been, since we were raised only children. And we anticipate times when we will wish we could just do whatever the heck we wanted. But we also know that's not going to be an option anymore. (until we retire, of course!). We went into this gig fully aware of that. And that's one thing I love so dearly about my husband - he and I have worked together through so much, including this pregnancy, and we're ready for all this has to bring...at least that's the attitude we're choosing to have. Not this, "oh god, this is going to suck!" state of mind.

On a lighter note, Sean and I practiced being artsy a couple of weeks ago while I was bathing. He got out the camera and took a shot of my belly. I had seen this done on another website and loved it! Stella Grace might be humiliated when she's 13, or, if I'm lucky, she'll appreciate the natural beauty in it. Anyway, enjoy...