Life is so strange

That line sounds so cliche, but I don't know how else to describe how I feel. Without revealing toooo much information, I was just at a meeting where I thought I'd see someone I once knew and am very sad to not see anymore. When the person didn't show up, I began making up a story in my head that told me it was because they knew I'd be at this meeting and, therefore, decided not to go. How juvenile is that? Whether or not that's the case, I still feel a bit of, okay, a LOT of pain about this situation and I really wish it would all just go away, out of my body and mind, and drift off into space and disintegrate and dissolve and be gone forever. But it hasn't and so here I am with triggered feelings and I feel like I'm 9 again at Manette Campos's slumber party where she, Susan Titus, and the rest of the crew all ganged up on me (for reasons I still don't understand) and all I wanted to do was go home and my mom wouldn't pick me up. (sorry, mom, but it's true!) God, this blog sounds pathetic! Anyhow, I really wish sometimes I could go back and do things over, or more than that, I wish people would just SPEAK THE HELL UP and tell me how they feel so I wouldn't go around having to guess all the time at what they want or need. I just might still have this person in my life. Geez. I think I'll take me a bath, put on my pj's, dust off my teddy bear, eat the last spoonful of my Moolenium Crunch ice cream, and cry.