The unhappiest mother on the block

I hate this book: "The Happiest Baby on the Block". As I write this my daughter, who I am so in love with, lay in my bed, crying her little heart out, because I won't let her pacify my boob. She's well full, that's a fact, and she wants to sleep on my breast. I cannot take it anymore. I'm done with it. My husband is not here tonight, so it's just me and Stella Grace. I've tried every damn trick I know, every one in that stupid book, I've tried the wrap, the swaddle, the shhhhh, the swing, the side, the bounce, the suck (my boob AND a pacifier), the walk, and all she does is root and want the boob. When I put her on it, she just falls asleep. When I take it out of her mouth, she wakes up wailing and wanting it back. My nipples are on FIRE, and I can't even pee because I've got this baby on my boob who's been there for two hours. So now I want to shake her, strangle her, throw her against the wall. Yes, I want to do this to my darling little angel who I so desperately want to protect, make happy, soothe, etc. AND I CAN'T. I just can't. Nothing works but the boob.

I'm a horrible mom. Here I am letting her just lay there and cry. I go to get her, she's calm for a minute, then she demands boob again.

I give up. If you have any suggestions, please send them my way. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to leave her there crying alone in the dark. I need help. And I don't know what to do.

Good night.