Hello, I think I might be in labor.
OK. I've been having Braxon Hicks all day long. First of all, before I continue, let me just say today is March 20th, the last day of Pisces, the first day of spring, and my personal due date for Stella Grace. I desperately wanted her to be a Pisces, and I didn't realize until my little meltdown this morning that I had whole heartedly banked on that. I know star signs sounds silly to some folks. But I have so many wonderful girlfriends in my life who are Pisces that I was really hoping Stella Grace would end up one, too. They're just such cool ladies: Lisa, Emily, Altamira, Erin, Sara, and I might be forgetting a few more, there are so many in my life. So when I didn't go into labor yesterday or today, I knew it was "over". Stella will be an Aries. And that is that. I will love her for who she is, but I had to have my meltdown in order to get to this place of acceptance.
Right at this very moment, she is kicking like a mad woman. I mean, moving and rolling like crazy! As far as the labor stuff goes, I have had about three contractions today that have felt un-ordinary, not like your average Braxton Hicks. But I'm so disillusioned today that I am not taking them seriously at all. Instead, I have made a few little velcro pouches to carry stuff in for her, like pacifiers, wipes, extra diapers: all from the Lotta Jansdotter book, "Sewing For Baby". I've made just about everything in there but am waiting on the dresses and pants until Stella is a little bigger. Or born, for that matter. After that, I watched about 4 episodes of Dexter, then got to work on her nursery. Finally took the bed down, brought in the glider and dresser, put the changing pad on it, hung up the paper lanterns, and I think it's looking pretty cute. Can't wait to get pictures up.
Should I be timing these contractions? Whoa, here goes another one...feels like a menstrual cramp and it's shooting around to the back, but it didn't last long at all. No biggie.
Back to her star sign: one thing that consoled me today was when I realized that if I were to have scheduled a C-Section (which actually crossed my mind, I was so upset), that that would be controlling her little soul. Not allowing her to come into this world on her own time would be like stepping in the way of God's plan for her. Who am I to decide that? The Tibetans believe that a child comes into the world when the star under which they are to be born is shining bright. If I induce labor or deliberately have a C-Section, I would be messin' with the universe. I don't want to do that. And Stella would be a lie. She wouldn't have really been a Pisces, no matter what.
At least that's how I see it. This made me feel better, to remember that there is a plan, a bigger plan that I could ever imagine or hope for her to have.
So, here I am, 40 weeks and 4 days, and counting...soon to be counting contractions, I hope!
Right at this very moment, she is kicking like a mad woman. I mean, moving and rolling like crazy! As far as the labor stuff goes, I have had about three contractions today that have felt un-ordinary, not like your average Braxton Hicks. But I'm so disillusioned today that I am not taking them seriously at all. Instead, I have made a few little velcro pouches to carry stuff in for her, like pacifiers, wipes, extra diapers: all from the Lotta Jansdotter book, "Sewing For Baby". I've made just about everything in there but am waiting on the dresses and pants until Stella is a little bigger. Or born, for that matter. After that, I watched about 4 episodes of Dexter, then got to work on her nursery. Finally took the bed down, brought in the glider and dresser, put the changing pad on it, hung up the paper lanterns, and I think it's looking pretty cute. Can't wait to get pictures up.
Should I be timing these contractions? Whoa, here goes another one...feels like a menstrual cramp and it's shooting around to the back, but it didn't last long at all. No biggie.
Back to her star sign: one thing that consoled me today was when I realized that if I were to have scheduled a C-Section (which actually crossed my mind, I was so upset), that that would be controlling her little soul. Not allowing her to come into this world on her own time would be like stepping in the way of God's plan for her. Who am I to decide that? The Tibetans believe that a child comes into the world when the star under which they are to be born is shining bright. If I induce labor or deliberately have a C-Section, I would be messin' with the universe. I don't want to do that. And Stella would be a lie. She wouldn't have really been a Pisces, no matter what.
At least that's how I see it. This made me feel better, to remember that there is a plan, a bigger plan that I could ever imagine or hope for her to have.
So, here I am, 40 weeks and 4 days, and counting...soon to be counting contractions, I hope!
posted by corocita at
8:53 PM
1 Comments:
Oh I love this post and sad I didn't see visit your blog sooner. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal story. Can't wait to read more. :) hugs.
P.s. My Deona is a Pisces and a the most lovely person I've ever known. Good things are in store for Miss Stella Grace.
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