Lovin' this rain...
It's pouring outside, finally, here in this hot Texas town, and I have all the windows open, AC off, lyin' in bed with my kitty, while Sean soundly sleeps. This is one of my favorite states of being - having the day off when it's raining, early morning quiet, no sounds, just my fingers clicking on the laptop keyboard and the sound of this lovely and much needed rain.
Having such a hard time at work lately and I'm not enjoying it at all this year like I did last year. I'm trying to stay positive and have fun with the kids, but the bureaucracy is making it difficult and has got me questioning where I'm going with all this and what do I really want to do. Of course, this is a question I struggle with frequently, because, well, that's what I like to do is something different. What is bringing me most joy these days is the baby in my tummy and this last week brought a pretty cool experience.
Thursday I met with June, one of the midwives who'll help me deliver at home, and she and I listened to the baby kick on the Doppler. What a sound! She was giggling at how active it was, and I was outright hysterical with laughter. I had seen it moving when Sean and I went to the last sonogram, but to HEAR it put a completely different spin on it all. It made it all the more real to me, and I just felt like I bonded even closer with my baby. The sonogram the previous week was in preparation for the First Screen test to check for Downs and any other genetic diseases. When the results came back I learned that I have only a 1 in 203 chance of having a baby with Downs and only a 1 in 10,000 chance of having a baby with any other genetic disease. Those results made me very very happy and so I've opted not to go through with the Amnio. My baby is fine, no matter what. And I'm so happy and grateful for that. I just love it so much already. This is weird...but in a good way.
So, this little critter is what keeps me going right now. Despite the cave that I have to work in and the paper work and crap I have to do because come March, it will all be over, and I'll be a mom, taking care of a little one, and that will be my new job.
Having such a hard time at work lately and I'm not enjoying it at all this year like I did last year. I'm trying to stay positive and have fun with the kids, but the bureaucracy is making it difficult and has got me questioning where I'm going with all this and what do I really want to do. Of course, this is a question I struggle with frequently, because, well, that's what I like to do is something different. What is bringing me most joy these days is the baby in my tummy and this last week brought a pretty cool experience.
Thursday I met with June, one of the midwives who'll help me deliver at home, and she and I listened to the baby kick on the Doppler. What a sound! She was giggling at how active it was, and I was outright hysterical with laughter. I had seen it moving when Sean and I went to the last sonogram, but to HEAR it put a completely different spin on it all. It made it all the more real to me, and I just felt like I bonded even closer with my baby. The sonogram the previous week was in preparation for the First Screen test to check for Downs and any other genetic diseases. When the results came back I learned that I have only a 1 in 203 chance of having a baby with Downs and only a 1 in 10,000 chance of having a baby with any other genetic disease. Those results made me very very happy and so I've opted not to go through with the Amnio. My baby is fine, no matter what. And I'm so happy and grateful for that. I just love it so much already. This is weird...but in a good way.
So, this little critter is what keeps me going right now. Despite the cave that I have to work in and the paper work and crap I have to do because come March, it will all be over, and I'll be a mom, taking care of a little one, and that will be my new job.
posted by corocita at
7:07 AM
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