Getting bigger...

Four months pregnant. They say I should be able to tell the sex of the baby by now, but I thought I had to wait until I was at least 20 weeks...this is exciting. I'm going to try to get an appointment for this week.

Made whole wheat chocolate chip cookies last night. Actually, I made a pretty damn good meal all together. Chicken and rice, stir-fried zucchini, and then the cookies, of course.

I have an official bump now. My students say I don't look that big, but what do they know? It's definitely there and I can see it. I've been walking with Sean a lot and it has felt really good. My appetite is sooo back and that feels good, too. They say the second tri-mester feels wonderful and I'm really looking forward to that, seeing as I've felt like hammered shit for a good 8 weeks now.

I keep thinking about what the birth is going to be like, but I hear it WILL NOT be anything like I imagine or even plan for. So what am I supposed to do, I wonder. I squat a lot. They say to practice that, and that's the only thing I know to do to prepare, besides eat well and exercise. I'm reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", too. Right now I'm just reading birthing stories. I wouldn't say they're "inspiring", because not a one has said, "Ina made it soooo easy for me!". However, what I am getting from those stories is that women get through it. They actually do it. It hurts, it's hard work, but they do it and they survive. So I guess I can, too. Because I'm scared, people. I'm pretty damn scared.